his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
