Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
