I wanna bring you to show and tell
Even my vagina gasped.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
