After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
