ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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