Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
