Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i think i have two assholes
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize