Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
