i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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