Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
