dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
