Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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