Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
