They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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