I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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