Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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