My nipple is on Facebook.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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