The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
