vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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