come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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