but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
