How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
