I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
honey bunches of taint.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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