she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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