I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
