apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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