Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
