I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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