I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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