True but thats because hes a fetus.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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