Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
