if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
