I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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