If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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