OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
