but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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