Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
