Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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