You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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