i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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