So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
