Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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