My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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