the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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