I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize