is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
