I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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