You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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