It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
