tonight lets celebrate not being married
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
