Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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