Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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