I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
