Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
