I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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