no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
