We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize